Filtered to Rachel
Sep. 7th, 2014 02:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
daniel_marlowRach, honey, can I ask you a kind of serious question?
It's not bad and you shouldn't be worried and I love you very much, I just need to ask you something. Well no, okay, I need to talk something out.
It's not bad and you shouldn't be worried and I love you very much, I just need to ask you something. Well no, okay, I need to talk something out.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:13 am (UTC)Okay, you can talk, i'm here...
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:21 am (UTC)I just...I was talking to my therapist and she said I need to be open with you about my feelings on sex and stuff and I kind of don't want to talk about it ever with anyone, but that would be the opposite of helpful. And it's you, so-
Uhm. I guess I'm worried because we were working on getting closer and now...you know, Greg. What if I never want to have sex ever?
No, that's stupid. I saw you the other day and you were just...breathtaking. And you were curled against me and it felt right and I think I can be fairly certain that I'll want to have sex because- Yeah. But what it I can't for a long time? How would that make you feel?
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 02:30 am (UTC)Because I don't want it to be a problem, but if it is you can talk to me about it, okay? I mean, even if I can't do anything else, we can talk about it.
Are you okay?
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:33 am (UTC)I feel so crap, Danny. My arm hurts and I just want to cry. I'm so pathetic rn.
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:36 am (UTC)You're not pathetic, Rachel. You're in pain, crying is a worthy response. Can I help? I don't have any pain killers or anything.
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:39 am (UTC)Idk I have painkillers, i'm just whiny. Stay online for as long as you can? I dont want to cry when I'm talking to you.
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:41 am (UTC)Okay, I'm here. What else is bothering you?
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:45 am (UTC)I dont knoooow just everything. I hate being at home all day and I hate this this whole flat kind of smells like dog which would be fine if we had a dog but we don't its just old-flat-smell. Also I keep forgetting to take my meds on time so i'm constantly going up and down. Feel soo pathetic i just want someone to come take care of me and pat my head and tuck me in.
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:48 am (UTC)Right, how many times a day do you have to take the pills? Because if it's once then maybe you can come here in the morning and take them here, and then stay as long as you want. I can't tuck you in, but I can take care of you here and you can take care of me.
I kind of roasted my heart, but it still works.
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:51 am (UTC)I have morning and night ones, but i have been sort of taking the morning ones at night and the nightones in the morning because Dads not home during the day and it's a bit scary here so i'd rather sleep through it then be awake at night, not that this works usually...
I can come there in the morning, i can do that.
Your heart is my favourite, I love it even if it is all sparky.
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:57 am (UTC)I can go outside in my fancy wheelchair, but I'm not allowed to wheel it myself in case my chest bursts open when I do it. But it means we won't be stuck inside my room all day and maybe we can go to the cafe and have lunches or coffees and be obscenely cute and old people will comment on what a sweet couple we are like they do. I'll get you all sugared up and you'll forget the pain in your arm and I'll forget the pain in my chest and we can just sit and watch movies for hours.
Your heart is my favourite. It's one of the reasons mine is still beating.
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Date: 2014-09-07 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:02 am (UTC)I thought Greg had taken me away, you know? But here I am, still me, just maybe a little sadder. Still ridiculous and ridiculously in love with you.
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Date: 2014-09-07 03:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:11 am (UTC)Have you asked about maybe staying with Zoe? I mean, I know Indigo isn't a problem now, but it's a big place and Wolf is going to be staying there too.
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Date: 2014-09-07 03:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:17 am (UTC)Do you know what I realised I have never actually seen in person? Boobs. I mean besides the time I walked in on Melissa in the bathroom which is the only time she ever shoved me, btw and it was only to get me out.
Er, I am not saying hey bring yours tomorrow and get 'em out. I was just thinking about it.
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Date: 2014-09-07 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 03:40 am (UTC)I cant get over you either, how beautiful you are in a man way.
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Date: 2014-09-07 03:54 am (UTC)I guess I kind of never thought of myself that way and for a long time the idea that someone else might find me attractive was horrifying. But I like that you do. Makes me feel all warm inside.
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Date: 2014-09-07 05:11 am (UTC)You are the most beautiful <3 <3 <3
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Date: 2014-09-07 05:13 am (UTC)I think you are, but thank you. I mean it.
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Date: 2014-09-07 09:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 09:45 am (UTC)I am so happy you'll be here tomorrow. You know you don't have to show me your boobs, right?
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Date: 2014-09-07 09:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 09:50 am (UTC)All I care about is getting to be with you.
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Date: 2014-09-07 09:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 10:00 am (UTC)Oh my god, Rachel. I think that's the best thing anyone has asked me in a long time. My heart always speeds up when I'm around you. And yes, it's okay. As long as I don't do speed first.
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Date: 2014-09-07 10:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 10:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 10:04 am (UTC)Me and meds.
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Date: 2014-09-07 10:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 10:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 10:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 10:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 10:20 am (UTC)9am is the earliest but I reckon you could get away with 8:45 because you're gorgeous and my morning nurse thinks I am 'cute as a button' and she keeps bringing me extra pudding.
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Date: 2014-09-07 10:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-07 10:23 am (UTC)