Filtered to Cai, Zoe, Dylan and Rachel

[daniel_marlow]

Uh. So this might sound really fucked up, and my mother is going to freak out and try to stop me, but I think I have a day pass coming up soon and I kind of want to go visit Greg.

Not- Not to see him. I don't ever really want to see him again, but I think closure might be easier if I see the place he's being kept? I have some things I want to say too. And if I have to go testify at his trial, I really don't want the first time I see him again to be then. I might not be able to do it and then the trial's kind of fucked, right?

I can't go alone though, and I hate having to ask you guys because I honestly don't think anyone should ever have to see someone like him, but if I go alone I'll crumble. And I might crumble anyway. Honestly though, if you can't handle it, I completely understand. I can ask Gabe or Deirdre to come with me. I would never expect any of you to do this for me if you can't. I just had to ask.

I'm doing this. Don't know when, but I'm doing it. God, my Mum's going to kill me.

Comments

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

That's so awesome that you're getting ready for closure, Danny, you're so great. If you think it's for the best, then I'll totally be there, don't even doubt it.

[daniel_marlow]

It's not going to be the end of it. Just so you don't get too excited or anything? But I can't move forward until I leave that shit behind kind of?

Are you sure you're okay with seeing him? He might say some fucked up shit.

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

Well I reckon, I'd rather listen to the things he might say than let you hear it by yourself, you know?

[daniel_marlow]

Cai. I don't even know what to say beyond thank you.

I think he'll try to hurt me. Verbally, I mean. No way I'm going to be in the same room with him. I texted Zoe's uncle Peter and he said they have rooms with glass windows or something so I don't have to risk him touching me. I couldn't do that.

[daniel_marlow]

CAI, CAI!



This has to be from around when we were at Dad's together. My hair, hah!

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

Where'd that come from all of a sudden!? Amazing!

[daniel_marlow]

It was on my harddrive. After Melissa died, I scanned all the photographs in our albums and made triple copies of all the digital ones, just in case anything happened to them. Because if school schootings can happen then so can fires or floods or whatever, and I didn't want to lose the only pictures I had of her, you know?

But then I forgot they were all on here and when I was looking through my photos to make a collage (art therapy strikes again) I found the old folders!


We look thrilled.

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

Aw man, Blink 182. I remember getting so excited about buying that shirt because the I was a 1 and that was the cleverest thing.

[daniel_marlow]

I think I remember you talking about it.


Poor Melissa already sick of dealing with me shouting about how I was a bird, a plane, no SUPERMAN.

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

Oh wow, that's Dom's hat. He still has that.

[daniel_marlow]

No wonder it's eating you alive.


Is this Dom's hat? Also why do you look like you want to kill me?

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

You'd probably done something hella annoying, if I'm honest...

[daniel_marlow]

Hahhahahaha! I mean, hdu, my behaviour is always impeccable.

OR.

You're about to make that face at me again because I found some photos from after we stopped going to see Dad. Pretty sure either Nonnie either sent them to me, or she sent them to Ross and I stole them when I was archiving his photo albums too (I visited him all of twice after Melissa died and he made moves to try to be part of my life, no surprise it lasted less than a month)



You're amazing. Don't kill me. Impeccable, remember?

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

Oh no.

Ooh no.

Yeah Nonnie wouldn't have sent them to Ross because she doesn't even waste her breath on his name, so she probably sent them to you. I'm going to have words with her. This is an outrage.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

This is excellent.

[daniel_marlow]

He's officially going to kill me.

So I'd best share all of these while I can. Look at our hair!

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

You make me kind of wish I had any young pictures of me lying around.

[daniel_marlow]

I bet you were really cute.

If you do have them around though, people can do this.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

Then I guess I'm lucky they're all back in America so I don't have to suffer like Cai is suffering.

[daniel_marlow]

I can't tell if you're sad or joking so I don't know whether to joke back or try to say something comforting.

So...I love you?

Look at his waves of hair?

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

It was mostly a joke with some grim material.

I suppose I can ask Liz and see if there's photos of me from when I first got here. Because I'm generous and giving.

[daniel_marlow]

Like most of mine!

Only if you want to! I have thoroughly distracted myself from the upsetting subject matter of this post, and I find that pleasing.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

I'm probably going to regret this but I asked Liz is we had any photos and she dug them out and she was scarily excited so I'd feel really bad if I didn't post it after all that.

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

SAVING THAT. PRINTING IT OUT.

[daniel_marlow]

Now I've seen everything. (I was right though, you are cute!)

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

I don't even recognize myself, really.

[daniel_marlow]

She's the BEST.

To make it fair though, here. I took this photo OF MYSELF:

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

Hella stylish.

[daniel_marlow]

I have a V-neck on.


Me hating sunlight.

[daniel_marlow]

OH LORD.



This is when I decided to try longer hair. No. Nope. No.

Also I don't know why I am grabbing my nips.

[itsajesusthing.insanejournal.com]

Wow I'm definitely the cooler brother. It's good to get that confirmed.

[daniel_marlow]

I think that was confirmed on the day you were born, Cai!

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

Danny, I'll be there if you need me to, but if I see him, I can't promise I'll stay silent. I can't promise I won't lash out at him.

I think going with someone you just met is a bad idea, and I don't think Deirdre will be very helpful either.

Talk to Abby about it first, okay? Don't be reckless, and put yourself in a worse position.

[daniel_marlow]

I would never want to silence you, Zoe. Not ever. If you do come and you want to scream until your throat hurts, I'll stand beside you. Probably also screaming tbh.

I don't want it to be them, but in a pinch-

I did and she's not thrilled but she doesn't think I'm being reckless.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

Then I'll be there.

[daniel_marlow]

Thanks, Zoe. You're wonderful, you know? He'll probably recognise you and I'm sorry for that.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

Hah, I'm not afraid of him.

[daniel_marlow]

I am.

I have you guys though.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

Yes you do.

[daniel_marlow]

I'm so damn lucky.