Friends Only

[daniel_marlow]

Uh...so Dr Abby called me and I kicked Greg so hard in his balls, he got testicular torsion or whatever and has to have emergency surgery to like...take one of them away.

And I can't decide if I'm really kind of upset at myself for causing another human actual lasting bodily harm, or if I'm just mostly pleased with the rather incredible poetic justice. I took one of his balls. I mean, I'm a terrible fucking human being, but- Balls.

Hahhahaa, try to fuck someone now, arsehole. (yeah, I know you still can with a monoball but shhh okay)

Comments

Re: Screened

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

No, I just didn't know what to say.

I didn't know if they were 'thanks for being there' or 'sorry' and I handled my speechlessness beautifully.

Screened

[daniel_marlow]

They're kind of both, but really mostly the sorry thing. I still feel so bad for not telling you what I was doing. I thought it was the right thing and I just assumed you guys would know automatically I would never actually say those things to Greg. I mean...I guess I thought my feelings for him were pretty clear, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have told you.

Re: Screened

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

I thought you were trying to destroy yourself, Danny.

Screened

[daniel_marlow]

Fucking hell. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine-

Why did you think that? I've worked so hard, why would I destroy myself now?

Re: Screened

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

Because I'm not a mind reader. Because I can see you're working hard but I can't see what is going on inside your head. Because I have no way of knowing how you really feel about anything because feelings change when you try to put them into words for other people. Because people have bad days and decide to ruin themselves. Because sometimes people can't help it. Because people are fine on the outside and on the inside they want to die. Because people go back to their abusers every day even when their abusers don't have a supernatural pull over them. Because I thought that if you were going to fake him out like that you would have trusted me to help.

Screened

[(Anonymous)]

I was just too afraid. I was too afraid to tell anyone and I promise I won't do it ever again.

I do still want to die sometimes, but it's happening less and less. And I'm working on being more open about how I feel, especially with Cai. You're right though, you can't read my mind and I should have realised that.

I'm still learning how to do this friendship thing. Until this year there was pretty much just Dylan. Ever. And I never really told Dylan anything until this year too. I'm learning how to trust people. I'm so, so sorry I fucked up. You've always been there for me. You're my guardian. I should have known if I could tell anyone, it was you.