I was just too afraid. I was too afraid to tell anyone and I promise I won't do it ever again.

I do still want to die sometimes, but it's happening less and less. And I'm working on being more open about how I feel, especially with Cai. You're right though, you can't read my mind and I should have realised that.

I'm still learning how to do this friendship thing. Until this year there was pretty much just Dylan. Ever. And I never really told Dylan anything until this year too. I'm learning how to trust people. I'm so, so sorry I fucked up. You've always been there for me. You're my guardian. I should have known if I could tell anyone, it was you.