Yeah I like Peter when he throws ethics to the wind. I'm trying to encourage him to do it more often. There's a difference between ethics and justice, you know?
It is easier to be selfish, I reckon. I did that for a long time. Till this year, really. It is a lot more painful to care about people and it's really, really freaking hard to unlearn and open up again and i know I've got a million more miles to go on that journey and most of the time I'm not sure I want to go any further but certain things like you saying what you just said do make me want to try. I know it's a different kind of selfish we're talking about but I know what you mean about all you can see is your own pain.
Look your wordvomit is infectious and it's late and I've lost my point but I'm going to post this anyway before I start agonizing over it.
I don't know that it's that much different. I mean...the reason I know I can wordvomit like this to you is because I know you'll understand. And I hope it doesn't come off as condescending because that's the last way I would ever mean it in, but I'm proud of you every day. If you want me to go on that million mile journey with you, I'll be there because I know you'll be with me while I learn how to fucking live my life again. And it's fucking hard and it sucks, but it sucks a little less when you smile at me because I know it's not always easy for you to be open with people.
You're alright though. No, you're Danny. There isn't anyone else I would talk about being open with. Not without actual vomit.
Now I've got class in six hours so if I don't go to sleep I'm going to suck at everything tomorrow. Here's wishing you a dreamless sleep, if you do sleep.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-10-07 11:59 am (UTC)It is easier to be selfish, I reckon. I did that for a long time. Till this year, really. It is a lot more painful to care about people and it's really, really freaking hard to unlearn and open up again and i know I've got a million more miles to go on that journey and most of the time I'm not sure I want to go any further but certain things like you saying what you just said do make me want to try. I know it's a different kind of selfish we're talking about but I know what you mean about all you can see is your own pain.
Look your wordvomit is infectious and it's late and I've lost my point but I'm going to post this anyway before I start agonizing over it.
no subject
Date: 2014-10-07 12:05 pm (UTC)I don't know that it's that much different. I mean...the reason I know I can wordvomit like this to you is because I know you'll understand. And I hope it doesn't come off as condescending because that's the last way I would ever mean it in, but I'm proud of you every day. If you want me to go on that million mile journey with you, I'll be there because I know you'll be with me while I learn how to fucking live my life again. And it's fucking hard and it sucks, but it sucks a little less when you smile at me because I know it's not always easy for you to be open with people.
Thank you for posting it.
no subject
Date: 2014-10-07 12:08 pm (UTC)You're alright though. No, you're Danny. There isn't anyone else I would talk about being open with. Not without actual vomit.
Now I've got class in six hours so if I don't go to sleep I'm going to suck at everything tomorrow. Here's wishing you a dreamless sleep, if you do sleep.
no subject
Date: 2014-10-07 12:11 pm (UTC)Sleep well, Zo. I'll try and I'll let you know, okay?