Filtered to Zoe and Cai

[daniel_marlow]

It's so late at night and I can't sleep because I'm worried about Rachel AND I keep thinking-

I could have killed Greg. I could have strangled the life out of him with the damn chain he used to keep me on his bed and I didn't because I was terrified I might starve to death if he wasn't there to bring me food.

But now that I know I was rescued and I wouldn't have starved for long, I wish I had killed him. I'm kind of consumed by the anger that I didn't. Does wishing I murdered someone make me a bad person? I don't want to be a bad person.

Comments

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

No way. I understand completely.

[daniel_marlow]

So I'm not horrible for imagining squeezing the life out of him? Because I'm doing it a lot.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

You're only as horrible as me. Which probably isn't that comforting actually.

[daniel_marlow]

I don't think you're horrible even a little bit.

You've been doing it too? I wanted to punch his face off for hitting you :(

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

Me too. I get so furious when I remember it, Danny. So furious.

[daniel_marlow]

He had no right to hit you. It made me so angry.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

As if we didn't have enough reasons to hate the guy.

[daniel_marlow]

I- I'm sorry you had to see that, btw. And you know. The other thing.

I kind of hate that the fact that you rescued me means you'll always have those horrible memories. Of what I looked like like that, and what that arsehole can do to people. I'm sorry but thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

It's okay, Danny, I can life with it, I can deal.

[daniel_marlow]

Is t awkward if I keep thanking you until we're like 80. I'll send you fruitcakes with 'THANK YOU' spelled out in those dessicated cherries. And I'll hide post-it notes with 'TY!' written on them all over your nursing home room which will of COURSE be right beside mine. Or OH OH I'll do it in SKY WRITING!!!!~

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

Ugh I'm not sure I can live with that.

[daniel_marlow]

Not even a singing 'thank you' telegram?

You're really harshing my joy buzz here, Zoe.

[lightningseed.insanejournal.com]

I suppose I can live with one. One telegram.

[daniel_marlow]

Hooray, I can audition singers!

Honestly though? Every day I have now, I have because of you. I think about that all the time.