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daniel_marlowWhy can't I smoke some medicinal marijuana? Or eat the stuff they make into candy floss. This is bullshit.
daniel_marlow
daniel_marlow
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Date: 2014-09-15 11:51 am (UTC)I'm so sorry we didn't find you sooner, Danny.
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Date: 2014-09-15 11:57 am (UTC)No, Zoe- No. Are you kidding me, you- Zoe, when I think about the fact that you fucking found me at all, I know it's miraculous. And I'm going to close this post to just us because I'm talking about this. But- You had a vision and you saved me. No one else. You. Thank you.
He didn't even touch me in a...you know, sexual way for the first few days. I think he was trying to see if he could talk himself out of it? But he still hurt me. I don't understand. I don't understand why he thought that was somehow better?
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Date: 2014-09-15 11:59 am (UTC)We tried. I just can't help but think, if we'd tried harder... you know?
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Date: 2014-09-15 12:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-15 12:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-15 12:36 pm (UTC)Zoe, you did incredibly. Please, please don't be upset with yourself. You're the best friend I've ever had. Don't beat yourself up because you...what, slept and ate?
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Date: 2014-09-15 12:04 pm (UTC)You can't do that. You can't beat yourself up. Zoe. I am alive because of you. I know you well enough to know you were trying as hard as you could.
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Date: 2014-09-15 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-15 12:16 pm (UTC)When he was keeping me in that trunk I uhm- Well I'd been in there for well over twelve hours, so you can figure out- Whatever, I needed a shower. And he zip tied me in there and he hadn't even really touched me yet but he was washing me and I was so upset that I turned around and kicked him. He turned the water on cold and full blast and at first it was kind of okay because I hadn't had a drink in like...almost two days and I was so thirsty so I just drank a shittonne of water but then it was so cold and I didn't know cold could hurt so much. Like when you first jump into a chilly lake or the ocean only it doesn't get better, it gets worse. And I was there for so long I could feel my body stopping. Is that weird? The shivering got so bad I was hurting myself, and I kept biting my tongue because my teeth were chattering and then even that was stopping and fucking Greg left me there for like...an hour until I begged him to come help me. And then he had the audacity to make it somehow my fault.
And I thought all that was bad, but it's still happening and it's shit.
Sorry. Sorry I'm dumping this all on you. And sorry Rachel and Cai have to see it too.
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Date: 2014-09-15 12:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-15 01:21 pm (UTC)Captive Danny's gone sure, but Tortured Danny's still there, kinda lurking and freaking out every time someone I don't know tries to reach for my hand, or any time I even look at a shower (don't worry, I am still taking them because Tortured Danny is better than Tortured and Smelly Danny).
Maybe I shouldn't talk about this here but- It's helping? So. Yay? I mean it's helping me, but if you need me to shut up, I can.
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Date: 2014-09-16 10:32 am (UTC)Talking Danny is okay too. Listening Zoe is pleased it is helping.
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Date: 2014-09-16 10:34 am (UTC)No, it's- It's okay. I'll talk to Abby like I'm supposed to.
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Date: 2014-09-16 10:42 am (UTC)WHOOPSIE
Date: 2014-09-16 10:53 am (UTC)Re: WHOOPSIE
Date: 2014-09-16 11:10 am (UTC)Re: WHOOPSIE
Date: 2014-09-16 11:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-16 11:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-16 11:27 am (UTC)