I think I tried to send three or four before he took the phone from me. Still weirdly pleased my plan of carrying two mobiles actually worked btw. Who looks for a second mobile? Anyway, I wanted you guys to know what happened. And I mean...how many conclusions are there to jump to considering I have a pretty co-dependent relationship with my mum so I'm not going to run off, but Zoe seems to know of other fucked up things that happen and places people get taken, so you know...it was part begging for help, and part so you guys wouldn't spend the rest of your lives wondering where I went.
Cai, I'm so sorry. Is Dom okay?! Oh man, dude, I am so fucking sorry. If you need to talk about it, I'm here.
Thank you for telling me this, because I think it's made me realise I need to work on believing I mean something to you. If my abduction (and obviously Dom being sick) made you angry enough to lash out...yeah. Okay. I'm sorry I struggle with this. If you were the one missing though, I'd be pretty fucked up over it too.
Zoe and Rachel...I don't even have the words for how amazing they are. Zoe gave you back your hope? Wow, that's- Indescribable. She's given me so much too, probably stuff she'd kick me if I shared, so I won't. But she's priceless.
My beautiful Rachel. I'm so worried about her, Cai. Some days I worry that my being taken just kind of broke her, but hearing this...now I have hope too. (But wow I am sorry you were barely able to drive and you got all mad and stuff!)
This is working. This talking is working because now instead of just feeling confused and lost, there are some actual things I need to work on, and I feel less useless when things aren't so one-sided. I was at a 0 and now I'm around 1-2. Thank you.
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timeasmymeasure
Screened
Date: 2014-10-11 06:48 am (UTC)Cai, I'm so sorry. Is Dom okay?! Oh man, dude, I am so fucking sorry. If you need to talk about it, I'm here.
Thank you for telling me this, because I think it's made me realise I need to work on believing I mean something to you. If my abduction (and obviously Dom being sick) made you angry enough to lash out...yeah. Okay. I'm sorry I struggle with this. If you were the one missing though, I'd be pretty fucked up over it too.
Zoe and Rachel...I don't even have the words for how amazing they are. Zoe gave you back your hope? Wow, that's- Indescribable. She's given me so much too, probably stuff she'd kick me if I shared, so I won't. But she's priceless.
My beautiful Rachel. I'm so worried about her, Cai. Some days I worry that my being taken just kind of broke her, but hearing this...now I have hope too. (But wow I am sorry you were barely able to drive and you got all mad and stuff!)
This is working. This talking is working because now instead of just feeling confused and lost, there are some actual things I need to work on, and I feel less useless when things aren't so one-sided. I was at a 0 and now I'm around 1-2. Thank you.
How are you doing?