Okay, so, I got really upset just before and went downstairs to thump around in the kitchen and Nonnie came to talk to me and I told her you didn't want me visiting any more because I didn't help and she told me in clear and precise terms what a dick I was for being upset, except she didn't use the word dick.

So I'm not upset any more and I'm sort of sorry I was because it was selfish but also sort of not-sorry because I think it comes from how much I want to be there for you and it's not fair that you won't let me, but Nonnie gave me an earful about that too, because I don't get to choose any of that stuff, I don't get to say what's fair, I don't get to say how I think you should react to me.

I want you to do what is best for you and if that means no visiting then okay, no visiting. And sorry if I kind of feeling-dumped on you there, but you did ask for me to talk to you about what's going on inside me head, so...